You’re having a baby! Now what? Answering some hard questions.
Holy. Moly. You guys. We feel SO loved. Seriously so loved. I hope this little baby girl knows how loved she is and will be. I can’t even put it into words yet. More on that later. Our cup runneth over.
We had so much fun filming our pregnancy announcement. You just can’t beat telling people in person and getting to feel their arms around your neck as they congratulate you and squeal with giddy excitement. The video nerd in me of course loved it. It truly filled the beginning of this process with more love than we ever could have imagined. We are so impressed that so many people who were so excited for us were able to help us keep it a secret until we could work through our “tell them in person” list. Ask our mothers how hard that was! We weren’t able to get to everyone on our list because we have friends and family all over the world but we were so excited to finally share with our larger community today.
Less than an hour after we were celebrating being on this parenthood journey we found out we were losing a dear friend to cancer. I drove to Fort Bragg to meet Alex for a quick lunch at our favorite Thai spot in Fayetteville. He had left for the field/a training two days before and I couldn’t wait another second to tell him he was going to be a dad. We were inside at lunch when I got the news.
Corey was like a big sister to me. We were so happy we were able to tell Corey before she passed away. It was really special because my favorite mentor Scott and his wife were in the room when I told Corey so the emotional moment was followed by a congratulations hug from familiar faces. It’s strange to not have Scott and Leslie who are like family in the video but that’s because they were they in the hospital room with me as I held Corey’s hand. I learned so much about parenting from Corey in the years we worked at the paper together. She has twin boys that are now 6. I hope I can love my daughter as fiercely as she loved those boys. If I end up speaking Italian in a whisper voice to Ainsley and withholding Halloween candy from her for a few years it’s totally Corey’s fault. She’d be proud.
So now what? Well…you know, yes, the obvious we’re having a baby! We thought long and hard about starting our family before doing so and I wanted to share a little bit about that and how it relates to the families I get to be part of each and every single time I’m behind my camera documenting life’s biggest moments. I’m going to be blogging more and sharing more about our experience because when we first found out I was pregnant because I had such a hard time finding information like this! I’m not sure if that’s because as a business owner (and new mom) it’s scary to be all out there with your heart and logic but I was so hungry for this kind of information. I hope answering these questions over the next few months helps someone else through their process. And if you’re nowhere near that process, maybe you can still learn from our experience!
Q: Wait?! Are you still going to be a photographer?!
A: I won’t lie to you…this has been the most fear-filled part of the process for me. I have always wanted to so carefully decide when we would start our family because I love my work so. much. Some people work to live and others live to work. I live for my work. I live for the feeling I get when I’m behind the camera. When I was at the newspaper my boss used to be able to sense when it had been too long since photographing a story because I’d get all kinds of anxious. I was in a position at the TV station that really took me away from telling stories and it so hurt my heart. So I left to pursue my dreams and follow what my heart was really after.
When I took the head first dive back into running my wedding & portrait business full time it’s because I’m truly so passionate about it I didn’t want to do anything else. I wanted to tell the story of people’s lives through photos. I was ready for the total commitment.
And…I STILL AM! I was of course so excited to announce that we are pregnant with little baby girl Ainsley Jane Knight but also nervous. I was (and really still am ) nervous about the way we as a society perceive women and their abilities to do things during these times. I fear losing the opportunity to tell someone’s story simply because we now are going to have a baby. When we announced our news I began to realize that I was parting ways with a person I had been my whole life and was stepping into an entirely new role and perception by others. That was a scary moment. I am going to be a mom.
I am so fortunate to have so many incredible clients who have been so supportive through the process. I feel so much love in still being trusted to document life for so many.
I feel so lucky to have an incredible village surrounding us making this all easier. My mom is going to play a huge role in that as she joins me as my second shooter and business partner! We’ve been working on that transition for more than two years now (I told you I’ve been thinking long and hard about this)!
I’ll continue answering questions over the next few weeks in blog posts. What questions do you have? I’d love to answer them!
Now that the secrets out I’ll be posting quite a bit to my instagram if you’d like to follow along here.
Thank you for supporting us so much in this time. We’re so excited/scared/nervous/giddy.
Here we go!